Note: Mrs. Parker is not for children. -editor.
In 1919, her career took off while writing theatre criticism for Vanity Fair, which she began as a stand-in for P. G. Wodehouse. At the magazine she met Robert Benchley, who became a close friend, and Robert E. Sherwood. The trio began lunching at the Algonquin Hotel on a near-daily basis and became founding members of the Algonquin Round Table. The Round Table numbered among its members the newspaper columnists F. P. A. and Alexander Woollcott. Through their re-printing of her lunchtime remarks and short verses, particularly in Adams’ column. Dorothy began developing a national reputation as a wit. (Source: Wikipedia)

“What fresh hell is this?”

“At birth the Devil touched my tongue.”

“You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.”

“They sicken of the calm, who know the storm.”

“Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses.”

“It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”

“Enjoyed it! One more drink and I’d have been under the host.”

“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.”

“Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.”

“This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.”

“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”

“It’s a small apartment, I’ve barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.”

“With the crown of thorns I wear, why should I be bothered with a prick like you?”

“He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.”

“If you would learn what God thinks about money, you’ve only to look at those to whom he has given it

[When asked to use 'horticulture' in a sentence.] “You can lead a whore to culture, but you can’t make her think.”

“If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.”

“Too f—-ing busy, and vice versa.  [Reply to her editor who was bugging her for her belated work while she was on her honeymoon]

“Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Rumania.”

“By the time you swear you are his, shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is infinite and undying- Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying.”

This would be a good thing for them to carve on my tombstone:  “Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”  Or “Excuse my dust,” or “This is on me.”